Imagine standing at your window, watching your neighbor load their car with boxes late at night. Your mind races: “Are they sneaking away without paying rent? Moving stolen goods?” The next day, you learn they were delivering emergency supplies to a local shelter. How often do our snap judgments lead us astray?
Many of us unconsciously take on the role of judge in our daily lives. We evaluate our friends, family, colleagues—and even ourselves—with an intensity that often obscures understanding. Yet stepping back from this role, what Israeli video producer Ezri Tubi described as becoming a “retired judge,” opens the door to a life of less tension, more compassion, and deeper connections.
Judgment in Jewish Tradition: A Delicate Balance
Judgment has an essential role in society. The Hebrew Bible recognizes this, requiring formal judicial systems to ensure justice.
Jethro’s advice to appoint judges illustrates the necessity of judgment in maintaining order and fairness. Similarly, Deuteronomy 16:18 commands:
But while societal judgment is critical, personal judgment is approached with caution. The sages teach in Ethics of the Fathers: “Do not judge your fellow until you have reached his place.” This profound insight highlights the complexities of human behavior and the limits of our understanding.
The distinction between formal and personal judgment reflects a sophisticated view: formal judges are bound by laws and serve the public good, while personal judgment often stems from incomplete understanding. We cannot truly know another person’s struggles, history, or inner battles.
A Biblical Example: Hannah and Eli
Consider the story of Hannah in the book of Samuel (1 Samuel 1:12–17). When she prays fervently for a child at the Tabernacle in Shiloh, Eli the priest observes her lips moving silently and assumes she is drunk:
Without understanding her pain or intent, he hastily judges her. Only after she explains her anguish does Eli recognize her devotion and offer her a blessing.
Hannah’s story illustrates the danger of personal judgment based on superficial observation. Eli’s initial reaction highlights how even a righteous figure can misjudge without full context, while his change of heart demonstrates the power of humility and the willingness to reevaluate one’s assumptions.
Why Suspend Judgment?
Snap judgments are often wrong because they rely on a distorted lens shaped by our experiences, biases, and insecurities. The colleague who seems lazy might be battling depression. The friend who appears selfish could be overwhelmed by hidden burdens. When we judge prematurely, we risk alienating others and missing opportunities for deeper understanding.
Suspending judgment doesn’t mean abandoning discernment. We can and should:
- Evaluate situations to make informed decisions.
- Protect ourselves from harm.
- Navigate relationships with care.
- Uphold professional standards in our work.
However, these necessary assessments differ from harsh moral judgments. The latter often inflate our egos and erode compassion, while the former help us navigate life responsibly.
The Wisdom of Compassion
The sages encourage us to judge every person favorably, interpreting their actions in the most charitable light. This practice fosters patience and kindness. As the Psalmist reminds us:
If God approaches humanity with grace, shouldn’t we strive to do the same?
Retiring from judgment doesn’t mean ignoring wrongs or compromising principles. It means releasing the compulsion to categorize others—or ourselves—as good or bad, right or wrong. It calls us to humility, to listen deeply, and to embrace the complexities of human nature.
Living as a Retired Judge
When we suspend judgment of others, we free ourselves from the burden of self-judgment as well. Recognizing that everyone—including ourselves—is complex and deserving of compassion invites us to extend grace both inwardly and outwardly. This shift opens the door to deeper connections, greater wisdom, and a life enriched by kindness.
In a world that often feels harsh and critical, choosing to live as a “retired judge” is a radical act of kindness. It builds bridges instead of walls, fostering relationships rooted in understanding and love. Like Eli’s eventual blessing to Hannah, stepping away from judgment invites reconciliation, healing, and the possibility of seeing others—and ourselves—through fresh eyes, with love and understanding.
Perhaps the greatest blessing of all is that relinquishing judgment sets us free. We release the heavy burden of deciding who is worthy or unworthy and instead open our hearts to life’s complexities. By embracing others—and ourselves—with grace, we create space for growth, healing, and the beauty found in human imperfection.
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