A year ago, I wrote about the start of a new school year as my oldest child began high school—a milestone that felt like a giant leap toward adulthood. I thought I understood what that transition meant, the emotions it would stir, the lessons it would teach. Today, I dropped my second son off at the same school, walking the same halls, yet everything feels entirely different. This experience has taught me that while the framework of new beginnings may repeat, each journey is profoundly unique.
Standing in the same parking lot, watching my second son step into his own high school adventure, I’m struck by how different this moment feels. Though the setting is identical—the same school, the same time of year, the same parental mix of pride and apprehension—each child brings their own unique essence to this shared milestone. Watching them both navigate this same threshold has shown me that there is no single way to grow, no universal script for becoming who we’re meant to be.
For parents, these repeated transitions—experiencing similar milestones with different children—evoke new layers of understanding. We discover that our pride and nostalgia, while familiar, take on different hues with each child. The bittersweet mix of watching childhood slip away remains, but it’s accompanied by a deeper appreciation for the individuality of each journey. Each child teaches us something new about resilience, about courage, about the many ways a person can meet the world.
This reality of unique paths within shared experiences finds beautiful expression in the Torah through the story of Jacob’s sons. When Jacob blessed his twelve sons before his death, he didn’t offer them identical blessings or identical destinies. Instead, he recognized each son’s distinct nature and potential. To Judah, he spoke of leadership and strength:
To Benjamin, he offered different imagery:
Each blessing acknowledged not just their individual characteristics, but their unique roles in the larger story of their people.
Jacob understood what I’m learning as a parent: that even within the same family, traveling toward the same destination, each person must walk their own path. The tribes that emerged from these sons would each contribute something different to the nation of Israel—different strengths, different perspectives, different gifts. Their diversity wasn’t a flaw to be corrected but a design to be celebrated.
Like Jacob’s sons, my children are growing into their own distinct identities, each walking their own path toward adulthood. Though they share the same family foundation and values, each will contribute something different to our family story and to the world beyond. Both journeys are valid, both are necessary, both are beautiful in their own way.
The beginning of this school year once again coincides with the Hebrew month of Elul, that time of renewal and preparation before Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year). But experiencing Elul for the second time as a high school parent has given me new insight into its meaning. Elul isn’t just about individual introspection, it’s also about recognizing how each person’s unique journey contributes to the whole. Just as each of Jacob’s sons had a distinct role in forming the nation of Israel, each of our children has a unique part to play in our families and communities.
This year’s Elul reflection includes gratitude for the diversity of journeys our children take. Each child teaches us something new about what it means to become who they’re meant to be, about the many ways courage can manifest, about the different forms strength can take.
Every new beginning is indeed a gift, but repeated new beginnings teach us even more. They show us that life’s most important lessons come not just in single moments of revelation, but in the patterns we discover across multiple experiences. They teach us that while the framework of growth may be universal—we all face uncertainty, we all need courage, we all must learn to trust—the expression of that growth is deeply personal.
As we navigate these recurring cycles of new beginnings, we carry forward not just our own accumulated wisdom, but an appreciation for the many different ways wisdom can unfold. In watching our children find their unique paths within shared milestones, we discover that the greatest gift we can offer them is not a single model of success, but the confidence to become exactly who they are meant to be.
May this season of new beginnings bring growth that honors both our shared humanity and our individual gifts. May we find courage in uncertainty and wisdom in the beautiful diversity of paths that lead us home.
