Last week, one of our beloved Israel365 colleagues got married! Mazal Tov! A true simcha – a happy celebration – as all weddings should be. What made this wedding seem a bit different though was that just 12 hours before the ceremony, Israel had launched a massive pre-emptive strike on Hezbollah. If you could even call it that: Hezbollah has been sending thousands of missiles at Israel since October 7th. The strike itself was miraculous as Hezbollah was poised to send 5,000 rockets alone to central Israel that day. But despite the momentary lockdown that Israel had placed on the country, and the very real threat of World War Three erupting as a result of the strike, the wedding went on – and without a hitch! The bride was beautiful, full of light and joy – and surrounded by her family and friends (and favorite co-workers of course) as she took her first steps in her new life with her husband.
And this is the way Israeli weddings go. There is such a deep sense of unbridled joy, of happiness, and of combining meaning and spirituality with celebration that nothing – not even the threat of a rocket attack – can take that away from the bride and the groom and their guests.
There are many interesting customs at a Jewish wedding, but the one that is most striking to me is the breaking of the glass at the end of the wedding ceremony.
If you’ve never been to a Jewish wedding, you might be familiar with the notion of breaking the glass from the wedding scene from Fiddler on the Roof or any other Hollywood depiction of a Jewish wedding. In the context of those scenes, breaking the glass symbolizes the end of the wedding.
In Hollywood, that’s about as deep as it gets. But rooted in Biblical tradition, breaking the glass has an incredibly meaningful and poignant place at the end of the wedding ceremony.
The custom of breaking a glass at Jewish weddings has its roots in ancient traditions and carries deep symbolic meaning. This practice embodies the wisdom found in Psalms 2:11, which instructs us to “Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling.” This verse captures the essence of Jewish philosophy – that even in our greatest moments of joy, we should maintain a sense of reverence and awareness of life’s complexities.
While the exact origin of the glass-breaking tradition is debated, many trace it back to this biblical concept of tempering joy with solemnity. This idea is powerfully embodied in the moments leading up to the breaking of the glass. As the wedding ceremony nears its conclusion, it’s customary for the officiator of the wedding, to sing the words from Psalms 137:5-6, Im eshkachech Yerushalayim, the famouus verse: “If I forget you, O Jerusalem”. The haunting melody of this song fills the air as the couple prepares for the final act of the ceremony, creating a poignant moment of reflection amidst the joy of the occasion.
“Im eshkachech Yerushalayim, tishkach yemini. Tidbak leshoni lechiki im lo ezkerechi, im lo a’aleh et Yerushalayim al rosh simchati.”
If I forget you, Yerushala​​yim, let my right hand forget how to work. Let my tongue stick to the roof of my mouth if I do not remember you, if I do not set Yerushala​​yim above my chiefest joy.
As this ancient text is sung, it serves as a powerful reminder to the couple and all present of the enduring connection between personal joy and collective memory. The singing of “Im eshkachech” creates a bridge between past and present, linking the couple’s personal celebration to the broader sweep of Jewish history and tradition.
In modern times, the breaking of the glass has taken on additional layers of meaning. Some see it as a reminder of the fragility of relationships, encouraging the couple to treat their marriage with care. Others interpret it as a symbol of the irreversibility of marriage – just as a broken glass cannot be easily mended, so too should the marriage bond remain unbroken.
And of course, the act of breaking the glass also serves as a powerful transition point in the ceremony. It marks the shift from the solemn, ceremonial part of the wedding to the joyous celebration that follows. The sound of shattering glass is often met with shouts of “Mazel Tov!” and signals the beginning of the festivities.
At my own wedding, my husband and I partook in an extra tradition (in addition to breaking the glass) of putting ash on our foreheads. The ash was collected from Babiyar – the site of a massive massacre of innocent Jewish lives: some 33,000 Jewish men and women were murdered there in 1941 by the Nazi regime. We were both invoking their memory at our celebration and simultaneously beginning our marriage with the commitment and intention to perpetuate Jewish life, especially in the face of evil.
This custom, like breaking the glass, illustrates the profound way in which Jewish traditions interweave joy and sorrow, celebration and remembrance. It’s a testament to the resilience of the Jewish people and the importance of carrying forward the memory of those who came before us.
The world is nuanced: it’s not black and white. We will always be confronted with the duality of happiness and sadness. But acknowledging it, making space for it in our lives is how we bring meaning to both of those feelings. The breaking of the glass at a Jewish wedding beautifully encapsulates the duality of joy and sorrow, celebration and remembrance. It serves as a reminder that even in our happiest moments, we are part of a larger, complex story—one that honors both the triumphs and the tragedies of our past. By embracing this tradition, couples begin their married life with a profound understanding of life’s complexities, fortified by the resilience and strength of their ancestors.
As my beautiful colleague and her new husband embark on this journey together, may they always find the grace to navigate life’s twists and turns with dignity, courage, and joy. Mazal Tov to them, and may their marriage be filled with blessings and light!
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